What if....

Recently things are not going that great in my life. Not that it's that bad, but things are happening and that's just part of life. But that doesn't take away the fact that these situations make me think about a lot of things. And what I know about feeling blue is that you need to do something about it.

I have different methods when I'm feeling blue. It could be that I pamper myself with a spa day or foodie day(which however has results that make me less happy), have an intensive workout or I try to motivate myself. This time I tried the latter.

Like what I said earlier in one of my posts and based on the lessons of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming): " If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got". And according to these studies, even sadness and blues has a starting point. If you'd like to go back to a time when you were happier, think about what you did different. What changed?

Recently I've been reading 'How to think like Leonardo da Vinci- Summary'. It's a summary about the principles on which the great genius based his ideas. Those are:

1. Curiosity - the quest for continuous learning
2. Demonstration - Test knowledge through practical experience
3. Sensation- Constantly sharpen the senses
4. Sfumato - be comfortable with ambiguity
5. Art/Science- balance science and art, logic and imagination
6. Corporality develop Poise - the balance of body and mind
7. Connection- maintain a big picture perspective

I have to admit I'm not such a quick reader or at least, I'd like to let all the words sink in, so I'm still at just principle #2, but it's so enlightening that I feel I had to share with you guys.


The first principle is curiosity and I felt so touched by it, since I'm the same way. I'm constantly looking for things I don't know and especially with the existence of Google, which is making searching information that much easier.

People does say 'Curiosity killed the cat', but on the other hand ' satisfaction brought it back'. With curiosity I don't mean nosing in other people's business, but the longing for knowledge. Like seeing a balloon deflate for the first time and wonder what happened. Or how certain liquids mixed together create a different color.

But in this summary, I've learned a new meaning to the question: 'What if...'.  And I believe somehow I've always used principle #2: demonstration. I couldn't wait to test it out, so I asked my colleagues some simple questions like:
- 'What if you could have all the money in the world, what would you do?'
- 'What if you could do anything you want, what is it that you'd most likely do?'

These questions seem very easy, but the results were shocking!! Most people actually don't know what they'd do if they got the freedom to do anything and if they'd have all the money in the world, they wouldn't know what to do and where to start.

To make it more interesting, I'd like to share a test with you:

1. Choose a subject/topic. It can be a pencil, a word like love or anything that comes in mind at that moment.
2. In 10 minutes ( can be longer or shorter), write down every thing that comes to mind about this subject/topic. Even things that doesn't seem to link with the word; it does for you.
3. Screen what you've written. What belief or perception do you see behind all that you've written.
4. After you know what your belief or perception is, understand why you have this kind of belief or perception.

I did this exercise with my colleague and her belief is that she had to find meaning in life. And let me first say this " No belief is wrong". It is based on your experiences and your environment. My mom always told us that if you don't work, you don't eat. So I grew up holding on to that idea.

And what I did after this exercise was using the 'what if ' - questions; What if you don't need to work to get rich?', 'What if you could get paid for doing something that you love to do'. For most ladies, these might be the questions:
'What if I could eat whatever I want and whenever I want and not gain any weight?'
'What if I could have a perfect skin without using any products'
'What if I could have any guy I want, who would it be?
'What if....'

Some might see it as daydreaming and ' too good to be true', but WHAT IF...these are the things that keep you from achieving just that?
What if......

You stole my heart,...Aruba!

Last year, after my internship in Aruba, everybody was asking me for advice on what to do in Aruba and I believed I promised several people a blog would follow. But days...months...passed, until I even come back after a 2nd visit and I believe I should really stop procrastinating about it and just do what I promised.

Aruba is a country that has a special place in my heart, not only the beach and the sea, but the friendly people and especially my friends. I couldn't visit most of them this year, but I'm sure our paths will cross somewhere in the future.

Aruba is known for most as the 'Happy Island' and I did indeed experienced that, every day of my internship and vacation. It is not the big things, but the small details or things that makes so much difference like greeting. Every where you go, you will be greeted. It's so natural for them to be friendly that it makes me wonder why people are so hard on greeting and smiling. Even if I walked by someone, who was just so happen in their yard, they'll wave and say 'Bon dia', which means 'Good Morning'.

Last year, I arranged my internship and took a daring step to travel to a Country I've never been and stayed there for 6 months. The best thing that happened to me is that I get introduced to Joenne Nicastia through a very good friend. Joenne is a lady, who takes measures into her own hands and was always willing to give advice. I wanted to rent an apartment before I would actually arrive in Aruba, but she advised me not to do so, since a picture can be deceiving and other worries need to be taken into account. However Aruba is small, but not everywhere is convenient to get hold of a bus and renting a car was not within my reach yet.

I arrived on a national holiday, so since the moment I arrived she took me everywhere to see apartments. Some were really ridiculously priced- a small studio with everything packed in it could easily cost 1000 florin (nearly $600,-) per month. Finally, I found a nice apartment( a real apartment, where you have a small living room, open kitchen, full bathroom and a bedroom), where every area is divided nicely and gave me a feeling that after a hard day of work, I can really relax.

Not only did she assist me in the apartment search, but she was so thoughtful to think of the bus card and also to bring me to work on my first few days. I can't imagine anything more I can ask from her.

At work, I was welcomed warmheartedly and got the opportunity to work and learn the great standards of the brand hotel. (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention its name) One of the brand requirements is that all staff need to smile whenever a guest approaches, but it was so nice working there that the smile came naturally. 

However in the beginning, I did take the bus after work, but after getting acquainted with the associates, most of them were willing to give me a ride after work.

The friendliness is so contagious that I got infected with the friendly-virus. Greeting, saying 'masha danki' and I even gave a ride to a total stranger, who couldn't find the shop she needed to be.
For everyone, who made my internship and stay so memorable, I'd like to say "Thank you!! Masha Danki!! You are one of the reasons Aruba will always have a place in my heart.

What I miss most of this beautiful island:
1. my friends - they introduced me to happy hour, fun in dressing up (for all kinds of events) and the warmth and love of Aruba

2. the free sunsets - The best place to watch the sun go under is at Malmok. You can just park your car there and make yourself comfortable while you watch the sun set.
3. the food options ->  there is a variety of food available. You can grab an affordable big portioned meal at Fermin, a cheap Chinese lunch/dinner at Wing Hung or even a great fine dining experience at Ruth's Chris.  If you're the sport watching type, there are several options ranging from the local bars to Champions. After  hours, there are also some carts at certain areas, where you can get great food for an affordable price. One of them is Mexican. All options depending on the experience you'd like. For more about the food options in Aruba, check my other blog: http://atastybit.blogspot.com/
4. the accessibility - with a car, you can go everywhere yourself. It takes about half an hour to go from high rise area to San Nicolas. That is without traffic. There are a set of roads to go to all areas of Aruba and if you have GPS or Google Maps, you can get everywhere by car.
5. the safety - However Suriname is considered quite safe, Aruba is safer. Of course you should not provoke it, but all in all, I felt like I don't have to be scared to walk around. Just an example of how safe people felt they were: I saw people jogging at the boulevard at 2am.

There are lots more that I miss, but it will make the list too long for a blog.  Have you already been there? What do you miss the most?

My flying experience this vacay

My loyal readers, I'm back!!! A vacation is not only food for my stomach, but also food for my soul. I feel so relaxed and energized now (not really right now, since I'm quite sleepy after a late night movie) and can't wait for the next vacation. Yeah,...love travelling. Can't someone just pay me to travel the world and try out all kinds of food and lodgings?

One thing that's not really likeable is flying. I know that there's not really a way around it, unless you have the same opinion as a guy I met in Aruba, who told me he had been sailing from Boston and was gonna make it a year long trip. For most travels, flying is a necessity and everyone who has to fly a bit further knows the hassle of flying out from Suriname. You have at least one layover, some (can be 9-10hrs) waiting time and then the ignorance of online check-in.

For this trip, I took the matter into my own hands and have booked online. Since I was going to 3 destinations, I glued several airlines to make my ticket price a bit cheaper. SO...for this one trip, I had experience with 5 airlines: SLM, Air Tran, Southwest, JetBlue and Caribbean Airlines.

First was of course SLM. I had earlier experiences with them and the advantage of flying with them to Aruba is:

- it's a direct flight, so shorter travel time
- you always get food ( I believe it's part of being Surinamese)

What I didn't like about them and this time:

- there was a delay of 6 hours and I had to hear it from Travelocity, where they not only mail me about the delay, but someone who couldn't even pronounce Suriname correctly called me to ensure I knew about the delay. I confirmed it by calling the airport and leaving a message at Facebook. And no memo whatsoever on their page about this delay. Real disappointment!
- I checked-in online, printed out my boarding pass and still had to stand in the long line. After some complaints from a colleague traveler, we were put in a different lane, which should've happened from the beginning

Overall, I still would fly with SLM out of convenience, but I just hope they would work on these points though.

It was my first time flying with Air Tran and Southwest, so I was not sure what to expect. I had to connect in Atlanta with Southwest for my final destination. Air Tran was ok. The only thing that was not pleasant and I am not sure which airlines fault it was or just human error, but my luggage didn't arrive with me on my destination.

Southwest on the other hand was an experience like no other and I don't mean in a good way. First of all, at time of departure our flight attendants haven't arrived at the gate yet. The announcer talked about it as if he's talking about the weather or something totally normal. Then during the flight, the flight attendants were constantly chitchatting with guests, which is so different to what I'm used to. I'm not really sure yet about how I feel about it. It's a bit mixed. Partly it's nice to see the flight attendants enjoy themselves, on the other hand, it appears so unprofessional.


JetBlue was really the best airline experience so far!! The price was reasonable, have one free checked luggage per person and there was a list with unlimited snacks and drinks you can choose from. And best of all, TV with nearly all channels and for a flight that's about 3hrs long. The flight attendants were friendly and really service with a smile from the counter to leaving the plane. I would recommend this airline to everyone I know, but unfortunately they only have domestic US flights.

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/travel/sirens-skies-flight-attendants-years-gallery-1.46299?pmSlide=1.46355

And there's of course, Caribbean Airlines. The service got better since the last time I flew with them, the state of the interior in the planes got worse, but probably because I didn't expect a lot from them, the overall experience was ok. The only thing that I always hate is the long layover in Trinidad. This time it's 9/10 hours and thank god there's Rituals.

Before I left, I already did some research and read about a VIP lounge, but in which you only gain access through membership or at least introduction by a member. The annual fee for this membership is about $300+ and the introduced one will have to pay $27,- for that one time.

Since we don't know anyone who could be from that club, we were already worried about what to do in 9-10 hours. We lunched at KFC, which I do have to admit is the best KFC I've had so far. The line was so long, but totally worth it. We took our time with every step we had to follow and finally got up to the 1st floor. There was some shops, but only Rituals actually sold something to eat and drink. I saw the couches and I was in love. You know in cartoons, when an object suddenly lights up as if send from heaven. Well, this couch just lighted up in front of me. It looked so comfy (and it is too) and we spend most of our hours here. I felt to thankful that all the TT$ I had left, I put it in their tip box. However it's not mandatory, but I believe everyone who uses this 'facility' should do the same. The ladies are nice and should surely be rewarded for not kicking you out.

My food experiences at all 3 destinations are soon to be read on my other blog: https://atastybit.blogspot.com/

Should marriage be the goal for all couples?

This blog idea started with a post on Facebook, where a friend of mine posted this:

It is one of those quotes/sentences/sayings that seems to be logical, but somewhere deep down it does not feel right.

As a little girl, I grew up with the idea that I would study, get a good job, make some good money, find a good man and get married, then kids and bla bla bla.....The same story I believe everybody must have heard at least once in their lifetime. Most of these so-called supposed-stories or so-called facts created by hopes of our parents or our environment to condition us to think a certain way.

At a certain point of our life, this fairytale bubble will burst and reality shows that marriages are no guarantee for an everlasting relationship like we were told when we were still innocent and sweet.

How many weddings are held in a  year and how many file for divorce within the next year? The figures are so depressing and the environment around us is not always helping. Who can say that they don't know someone who is cheating for their partner? Or couples who have stayed together for so long and break off just months after their wedding. When I hear those stories, I really wondered what went wrong that just a ring and a piece of paper can break the years these people shared.

And no, I am not anti-marriage and I actually believe I will get married eventually. But what I don't agree with the most of that saying, is that when two people come together, their idea should be to get married at the end. As if, if that's not the case, they should not even start. That might apply to arrange marriages, but in this era, where most have freedom of speech and right to choose, I believe people should stay together because it feels right and they choose to be with each other. If both like to seal this with a ring and a legal paper, that's great!

For me, marriage changed from a fairytale to a legal step, which will benefit the next generation. An oath that you make at that moment that everything you two are working for, will be for each other and to create a home for your kids. And that piece of paper and the ring should not change the way you guys were with each other already. You don't owe each other more than you already were: love, trust and honesty!

Longing for vacation!

For those, who know me well, know that I love to travel, but with travel comes expenses and it's not always an easy choice. Do you choose to improve your daily life or do you choose for an experience. Of course you will have the pictures to show for it, but after all, you did pay for an experience. Nobody can tell you in advance how you will experience it and no guarantee that it will be a worthwhile trip. And still.....the idea of going on vacation seems like a world opening up.

For this year, I've already planned my vacation for end of next month. And tickets and arrangements were already done in the beginning of this month. Can you imagine the torture? It's like looking forward to opening Christmas presents and you still have to wait for a certain day or a certain hour or a certain someone to be present before you can do it. Time seems to suddenly stop moving and days go by like months and I can't just wait for the days to pass by quicker and I know for a fact that during my vacation time will pass by so fast that I'd just want to have a remote to hit 'Pause'.

Since I can't do anything about the time, so I'll need to keep myself busy until that day is finally here. And research is surely one of them. Google FTW!!!

This has been keeping me busy lately:

1. Groupon - not all countries are subject for deals, but if your next destination is in the states, you'll surely get some great deals. It range from food to paintball activities. Really diverse and for all ages and all genders something to plan your trip.

2. Since one of the stops is New York, I've been checking out some websites for free stuff to do. I mean, travelling is already very expensive for Surinamese citizens. Why not trying to cut costs? Some of the sites are http://www.nycgo.com/free/ , http://www.niftynyc.com/ and http://www.lonelyplanet.com/usa/travel-tips-and-articles/76493. The troublesome thing about some of the schedules, some of the events are not scheduled way in advance. Mostly it's a month or so, so if you're like me, planning way ahead, you might need to look it up near the time you're leaving.

3. A very nice tool is of course Google Maps. However I have friends there, but sometimes it's good to know in advance how far a certain place is. The addition on Google Maps is the directions and the 3D view. It creates a better view of what to expect.

4. Since I'm such a foodie, I was wondering if I can take on some Man vs. Food challenges. I probably can't eat as much as Adam, but I believe I can take on the heat whenever it's spicy challenges.

5. Making a list of the things I want to do at my vacation spots. There is so much to do, just so little time. More reason for a second trip, right?

Any advice for keeping myself busy while waiting for my departure date, please comment!!

Friends: quality or quantity?

A friend of mine at Facebook got very upset yesterday about some people, who claimed to be  her friends but at the very end stabbed her in her back. It's such a harsh experience, but it happens all the time in life. And of course, everyone's idea of friendship is different. Next to that, there are different types of friends.

You have friends at school/on the work floor, who you can talk about anything in your life, but after school/work, there is just no need to meet. Some friends are the ones you will see once or twice a year and try to catch up. And there are some great friends, who you hardly meet, but whenever you see each other again, it's like old times. I remember an essay, where the author wrote about a type of friends who you love to hate. We all have some of those friends too.


During elementary and secondary school, it was cool to have lots of friends. To always have someone to go out with or to be on the phone with. With time, the group of friends you have seems to shrink and your concept of friendship will also mature. In all these years I have learned this about friendship:

- it's always quality over  quantity
   you can have as many people around you who claims to be your friend, but when you're in trouble, 
   you'll see who your real friends are.
- there is a timeframe for everyone in your life. Some stay longer than others. Cherish those moments!

 

- if the friendship is over, just let it go. There's no use crying over spilled milk

With some friends, the quality of the friendship will change with time. You'll have your own crowd, your own thoughts and if you both are willing to keep this friendship, it will stay. But with some, you don't even need to say a word in a whole year, but whenever you see each other again, even though you're in a different country, a different industry, a totally different life style, you'll stay the best friends you always were.

Why O why, Generation Y?

Lately I've been watching some Hong Kong series. It is quite different from a while back (like 10 years ago)when I used to be a fanatic TVB-fan. The set-up of these series are different, the actors/actresses are younger and seem less experienced and the slang used are so 'new'.

One of the things they talked about that caught my attention was '90 后‘, which means the generation after 1990. They are known by different names: the Millennials, the generation Y. In the series they're posed as the irresponsible, wild and plan-free/worry-free generation. Here are some characteristics of this group based on this article http://itthing.com/4-tell-tale-signs-that-you-are-from-generation-y:



1. tech-savvy
They are the generation that grew up with technology in bloom. Mobile phones and laptops were a necessity and not a choice.

2. attention- seekers

They LOOOOVE attention. Social network sites are a daily need. People need to know what they're doing. When they're sad/happy, they want to share it with the world. At work, they crave for compliments and approval. With friends, they want to be the center of attention.

 

3. Driven, but not so driven

They want financial success to buy all the material luxury: expensive apparel, expensive booze, expensive cars, which they mostly can't afford. Their goal is not to maintain it, their aim is to have it. For instance, if they want to buy a Porsche, they'll try to save money (or some other faster way) for it (some get it from parents), but they will not think about how much they'll need to pay for gas every month.

 

4. Teamwork

They like to work in teams, but due to personal experience, I believe they want to work in a group, so that they will not need to do everything themselves. If it fails it's finger pointing, if it's successful, they share the appraisal.

I do admit that in my direct vicinity,  I do encounter people in this generation and they do seem to have these traits. Overconfident, very assumptious and especially very unfocussed. I had and still have a hard time dealing with them.

They do have some traits that are sure to envy: open-mindedness, more ME-time and the dare-to-love mentality. It might come over as selfish, but what's wrong with a bit more ME-love?

But I see the same traits from people who are in the late 80s and some after 90s are pretty responsible. So does is really has to do with the generation or is it just people at that age?

Looking back at myself in the early 20s I consider myself back then very irresponsible. The first years in the university were so wasted away. The classes were loose: nobody cares if you attend or not. And since it was not a major I preferred I really only took classes that interested me. No idea which direction to choose, what plans to make and how further with my life. What mattered was that moment and what comes will come.

Probably Karma really hits me in the face by showing me the after 90s kids. I used to be the same person, who would procrastinate, making plans to party and doesn't have a care in the world about the things I said. I still kept the straightforwardness, since that's a personal trait. But I believe that I've learned to wait for the right time to say the right things ( not always though). And I actually don't see the wrong thing about it. I love honesty.

During college, I was in a student board. There was this girl, who dislikes me, but I like the way she is. I mean...of course it's not nice not to be liked, but I admire her honesty to show it to me. For me, I prefer a true enemy above a fake friend.