Do you choose your own way or do you let others choose for you?

Some believe that the course of your life is already determined, some believe you have to take matters into your own hands. However it seems as if these are two different ideas, but what if the choices you made are actually the ones you were supposed to make? Or that it does not matter which path you choose, 'cause at the end you'll reach the same end station.

I am not religious, but just a tad spiritual. There was a time in my life that I was really focused on spiritual stuff. And I don't mean the floaty stuff ; being 'you're here, but nobody's home'. I do mean that I believe that there's more between heaven and earth and somethings just can't be scientifically proven.

In the course of my spiritual journey, I even went to a course 'NLP'(Neuro Linguistic Programming). It was a very enlightening course. For me a bit pricey, but at the end worth every penny. During NLP, I've learned that everything goes the way it should have gone. I have to remind myself about this every day, since I tend to fight against destiny. Most of the things I learned are left aside, but these are the things that stayed in my head:

- if you always do what you have always done, you'll always get what you've always got
- whether you say you can or you can't, you are right
- focus on what  you want, not what you don't want
- there are no bad choices. You made the right choice at the moment you had to make it, but it might not be useful anymore.

However I have these 'tools', but I have/had been in the same position as that little girl in front of the two roads: the anxiety, the fear of not knowing which one to choose and wishing that someone could just choose one for you. But deep down inside, we all know some decisions nobody can make it for you but yourself.

Yesterday I learned that one needs to be trained in decision making. It does not come naturally as we thought it should.
And I got to admit that I did not have that many chances to use that right till now.

The fear lies not on the choosing, but in not knowing the end result of that decision.
Somehow I believe I got to get through that fear and just believe that faith will bring me where I need to be.

Top 10 considerations

Last week, I went to a funeral of a far cousin of some sort. I knew him since the time he came to Suriname as a teenager. In recent years we did not meet each other, so when I heard that he left this world I was shocked since he was only 26 years old.

All this time, since the lack of contact I thought going to his funeral might not do me much. How wrong was I..... And I looked around in the room, and I wondered how many of those people really knew him. Were people crying for missing him or are people crying for the fact that he died so young?

Funerals are sad places to be at, but at the same time, it's a place where your eyes will be opened to some truth of this world. A place for people to think, even if it's only for that moment or the time frame they spent there, about their life and how they'd might to spend it wiser and better. After the ceremony they probably forgot all about it, but it will stay somewhere deep inside.

At that moment, I wondered why people are spending so much of their time on others and especially when the thoughts are about envy, jealousy and hate. Wouldn't we all have a much better life if we spend those extra minutes/ hours on our loved ones and friends or on ourselves.

I read a blog today about 50 things you don't want to regret. If you're interested in what's in the top 50, please click here. It's his list and there are things I'm not agreeing with, so I made up my own list. Just 10! I've learned that you should focus on what you should do and not what you should not do, so I made up a top 10 of things to consider in the order which comes in my mind first:

1. Travel more. See the world!! There is so much to see, so many people to meet and so many cultures to experience. I haven't been to many, but I can say that every one of them have their own charm.
2. Surrounding yourself with great, inspiring people. Everybody needs to get inspired sometimes.....
3. Have me-time. Take time off for yourself. I have female friends, who are complaining that they can't since they have kids. That's why you got married, isn't it? This is something that always makes me wonder, but I will elaborate that in another post.
4. Stop procrastinating. This is one thing I should remind myself more often. Sometimes it's just easier to lie on my couch doing nothing. I'll put it as no. 3's fault.
5.  Stand up for yourself. Too often I find myself in a discussion that had nothing to do with me. Partly I might come over as nosy, but on the other side, what would you do if you see someone, who clearly doesn't know how to come up for their own right?
6. Speak your mind. Others can't smell or hear your thoughts. This is one thing that avoids miscommunication.
7. I know I said no don't, but I had to put this. Don't assume! Since ASSUME means you are making an ASS out of U and ME. This happens so often and at times I also find myself in the same situation.
8. Put yourself first. It sounds so logical and yet every day people are putting others first. And we are even making excuses for others why they should come first. I love the way how author Keri Glassman put it in her book. Every airline tells you to put on your own oxygen masks first, why should you not in life?

http://jillwillrun.com/2013/01/22/the-new-you-and-improved-diet/

9. Have a hobby. Some are lucky to have their hobby as their job, but many of us are 'locked up' in a place, where we can't wait till it's time to go home. So when you're home, have something to look forward to, something you really like doing. You'll see how your days will light up.

10. Have your own top 10 things you want to do. Don't let others decide for you. I can point out these, but it might not work for you. Everybody has different preferences and needs, so maybe you're like the blog writer of the top 50 regrets and think that a threesome is a must-do. It's all good! You're the only one who knows your own desires. Paint your own path to your dream! So...what's in your top 10?

What is your definition?!

In recent weeks, I saw a YouTube clip about Lizzie Velasquez. She is a lady, who is blind in her right eye and who has a very rare medical condition. Every not-skinny female will have at least one time in their life when they’d wish they could eat anything they want without gaining any weight.

Lizzie is a reason for the saying ‘be careful what you wish for’. She literally does not gain any weight no matter how many fatty, calorie bombs she devours. In her case, she never wished for this. It is a rare disorder she got from birth. The reason I write about her has nothing to do with her condition however. Why she has quite an impact on me is because of her mindset and perspectives.

How often don’t we as humans feel down, even depressed when something doesn’t go the way we want it to be. Imagine growing up with Lizzie’s condition and the history of many bullies and disgusted looks. And even then, she didn’t sulk in her sorrow, but took those negative perceptions and prejudices to her advantage and saw it as a motivation to become a more successful person. One thing that she said really made me think: “ What defines me?”

According to Cathryn Conroy, these are the 10 best qualities anyone can have:

1. Be honest

2. Be happy
3. Be respectful of others

4. Be easygoing and fun.

5. Be confident
6. Be emotionally open

7. Be disciplined
8. Take pride in yourself
9. Be compassionate
10. Have a sense of humor

 For her post, please visit http://channels.isp.netscape.com/whatsnew/package.jsp?name=fte/bestqualities/bestqualities

These 10 qualities seems so logical, so natural that these are the qualities one should go after. But how extreme should you take this to heart? And how often are these qualities preferred?

The reason I mention these questions is that for a certain extent I am an honest person. Let’s just say, I give my utmost to always tell the truth. But what I’ve noticed is that not everyone is happy with that. What people say “ True words are not always pretty and  pretty words are not always true”. 10 years ago, I would bluntly tell people in their face what I don’t like about them and why. But with age and experience, I learned that people prefer sugarcoated truths and take your good intentions for granted.

And then again, the questions remains:” What do I want that defines me?” 

Should I stay the bluntly honest b*tch or should I sugarcoat at times to prevent making new enemies?

Lobi Libi = Loving life!!

Hey guys, never thought I'd come this far, but I believe I'm starting to get the hang of blogging. But there were so many times that I wanted to write about something that was totally not food related and it didn't quite feel all right to put it in my taster's blog. Don't get me wrong, I still LOOOVE food and will keep posting those experiences, but I didn't want my other thoughts gone to waste. It's a new year and this is one of my new year's resolutions!

In this blog I will not only focus on things/issues that I encounter in my daily life (in a more general way), but also experiences or things that motivated me. It's a new year! Everyone can have anytime in their life to be depressed or feel down. Why not look for motivation to do things you like and love your life!! It's the start of 2014: anything can still happen!!

Everyday the newspaper is announcing enough bad news: politics, theft, murder and rape....enough headlines to shock your morning! I hope this blog will light up your day like a daisy after a rainstorm, a cup coffee in the cold, grey morning. And please feel free to share what motivates you or what make you love your life more!